its almost 9pm. reach the max line in my brain, fist is bruised with blood,can you believe it? i broke my room door, due to the stress in my head, im having blood in my hands as i type this im insane im in pain im bleeding but im loving it....... fuck this world. enough worrying about my job, my future my life my broken family my pathetic lonely life my weaknesses...... world.....just let me go already fuck!

i kinda hate the new blog template fuck this shit

Im suprised

been a while once again since i last posted in here.

Im at my wit's end.

help me anyone,out there.

I left out cold,pondering and wondering where and how did all this turn out so wrong.

Im broken,lost and just definitely not well.

one wish

i just wish i could find a reason to smile at this moment.

just letting me focus on what i can be thankful for.

be thankful for what god has given me.

but instead here i am still the same person,

the negative person,committing the same mistake again.

what is my passion,what do i live for

i get terrified so easily

please god enough already,

theres so much to my limit that i can take from all this.


it's blow after blow, and after another blow,

comes another blow.

what was i thinking going out with her again?why am i committing the same mistakes again.

now im fearful of the things that i have done.

why are all the things that way in my life.how could it be that way.

Friends,the bitter truth

Friends,now i see the truth and the answer that i have been seeking for all this while.

Choices,circumstances and things happening.I never thought that my closest friends would not be there when i need them.

Well ever since i started my career,i have made mistakes,big ones i think,to the point even the closest friends you thought would be there for you dissapoints you.

To the point you realize how important your family members are to you.

Especially my mom.Thank you god for letting me have her by my side.

Friends,as loyal as a sagittarius i am they won't be there when the chips are down,when life is pulling you down and out.

Suffice to say i have learnt painful lessons,hard ones too.

I ponder as to where will my life lead to but for now im just hoping for peace and reflections on my mistake in my life.

I didn't choose this life nor would i want it to be this way,but im sure everything is prewritten,for me.

My character and myself as a whole is going to change.Hopefully for the better.

Nonetheless i just hope that it will all turn out all right.

gtg then

peace@Fate


"a simple wish from me dear god, help me.give me strength please."

pleas of a fallen servant.....

Dear Allah,


Been a bad start for the year 2012.But i realise it has taught me lots about what life is all about really.

Lots of friends lost,and even the newly gained ones are gone.As i try to comprehend the things in my life i realized that i had no one to turn to,

except to you Dear Allah,as i try to understand why the things are happening to me.

Im just thankful situations which i have been put into was not being put to worse more due to the patience and strength that you have given me Dear Allah.

As i type this out,i realize how fragile my life is and how empty it is.Nonetheless im just thankful that even without having much,im contented with how my life is and im happy with it.

As i seek to prepare for the worst that's yet to come for my family i ponder as to how did things turn out this way.Please help my family dear Allah.


How did my life gets into such a turmoil much less at home,or at work or even my personal life where i get so lonely at times and wish and yearn that i have someone in my life.

All that leads me to realized that putting me in the corner where no one is there for me has shown that i only have you to look up to Dear Allah.

As i began my day today 16 January 2012,i calmly promised that from this moment on,Faridfaisal will be a much much more different person,better than before.

As i look on forward to the future,my life really begins at this moment on,the maturity and experiences that i have with me.

Yup its true i can't run away from people and situations,but im sure everything happens for a reason.

For now, my year has just began although a bit later than everyone and my resolutions for the year has been set deep inside my heart.

I look forward to a better day Dear Allah,please i hope things will turn out better.

Peace@fate

2012

Its been a new year already.How surprising it is now and how time flies.

At a point of my life where probably i realise i don't need anyone in my life right now.

Perhaps i should just take a chill pill and take a step back and relax my mind to really just put away all the thoughts and fears i have.

Looking bak at things then and looking at things now,i do realise why they say family is the most important thing in the world.

Actually i still can't believe it,ever since 2005 this place started,and shockingly im still here still typing my feelings out from this place.

A safe haven from all that is in going on around me.

Im at a point of my life where im fearful of some things that has happened to me,and i have to grow out of it soon.

But no matter im sure that sooner or later i will get over this phase,

feeling insecure lonely and dissapointed at losing friends.Much needed friends for that matter.

Well,i just hope someday i will find someone to sort out this lonely heart.

gtg then

peace@fate

may this year be a blessed year for me.


please.........